Disclaimer: Following article was originally published in Pink Parhlo, it is being shared as an effort to bring awareness in the society. We neither confirm nor deny the authenticity of any facts stated below.
Marriage is one of the most important elements in women’s life because after spending half of their life with her parents, brothers, and sisters at a certain point, they have to leave them. Why? Because they get married, entering into other person’s life, being part of his family. But from past few decades, marriage has turned into rape-marriage. Parents are so anxious about their daughter’s marriage that they just want to do “bidai” as soon as possible. It doesn’t matter to them if a man is 10 years older than her daughter.
Why I used rape-marriage terminology? Because most of the rape attempts have been done after marriage. I know it should be considered as domestic violence but no, raping your wife is not domestic violence, it’s dominance a man shows over a woman to have the pleasure of lust raised in him since he got married. According to a survey, such rape attempts happen in arranged marriages. There was a time when arranged marriage was considered as one of the best ways of getting married. But now, it’s the total opposite.
Arranged marriages are not happening happily but forcefully. Forcing a girl to marry a man whom she has never seen him in her entire life. We all are aware of male dominance over women in every manner which has always been brutal. There are numerous cases that have been filed in the police station related to domestic violence which includes rape, mostly. In rural areas, such incidents were very common but now urban areas have also become a victim of domestic violence.
Arranged marriage has now become the most crucial way of getting married. Many poor girls have been raped the very first night of the marriage and some after that. Male dominance always comes out whenever a girl rejects to have a sexual relationship at the very beginning of the marriage because it is understandable. How can a girl allow a strange man who has known for only two, three days (some girls don’t get any time to know that person) to touch her body? It is her right to say no, protect herself and avoid such intense interaction. But no, in our society it is considered as wrong, in this scenario a girl has always been blamed for no reason.
These sort of incidents don’t only affect a girl physically but mentally as well which is more harmful. In that period of time, the most they need is support, which they haven’t gotten from anywhere else. People leave them because they think it’s their fault, they must have done something wrong. Even their own parents disown them just because of their “Izaat”. Why do people always blame a girl for every rape incident and not the rapist?
Why does a woman always have to suffer? Why does the police always avoid such big issues in the name of domestic violence or say “Mian Biwi ka mamla hai”? Newspapers are filled with such stories, articles. This year in 2018, in Jehlum, a man rapped his wife, wife reported to police and told them he has physically and mentally tortured me, he even divorced me twice verbally as well. In 2014 there are numerous articles regarding marital rape cases, a woman (name not mentioned) has been raped 100 times by her husband. Like these, they are many incidents that will shock the world.
Marriage is basically a bond where a couple shares their interest, love each other, and take care of each other. Yes, there are some educated parents in our society as well who give this liberty to their daughters to choose their life partner which is far better than handling to the monster.
Parents should be responsible and more active in arranged marriages; they should investigate that man thoroughly and allow their daughter to get to know him. After all, a daughter is the most precious child in every parent’s life.